Looking forward

Tomorrow is my last day of classes then next week is all finals! So relieved but busy up until graduation. My friend, Justin, just today dropped off his cap and gown so that I can borrow it. I did not want to buy one since I really don't ever need one to keep.

I am also heading over the hill to see my mama tomorrow since I did not get to spend mother's day with her. Nothing to fancy just us hanging out and me helping her clean, paint and move things into my parents new place. Then Friday my grandma gets into town from Arizona and we three are all going to hang around the house and do more moving and chatting while my dad and sister are away at a race around LA.

I have started packing up my stuff for my move over the hill. My car is pretty packed but there is still so much to bring another time.

18 more days!!

Breakdown

Had a bit of a malfunction today. I just started to cry at the littlest thing and then the next littlest thing and so on. They didn't even bother me I just couldn't stop crying. I guess I just snapped because of all the stress I have been under lately with the end of school coming up soon and the piles of stress being dumped on me at work I haven't had any time to just breathe and let it out so I guess my glass just overflowed today.

I feel like people have just been using me so much lately. Everyone wants something and I just don't have any more to give right now. I need to do the best for me.

I expect the best of myself and push to get the best grade I can. Push to make my store better and coworkers happy. I cover for people even though I have things I need to get done. I get cancelled on all the time yet I continue to try and meet up with the same people. I check up on my friends and call or text them to see how they are doing.

But then when I ask for something in return it gets forgotten. I get emails about how I haven't done enough and how I need to do more for the store. How it is my fault when a mistake is made. I get the blame and I have to clean up every mess. I don't get checked up on by my friends. So if I don't call or text we don't talk. Why am I always the glue? Why do I always have to be the one who tries harder? Cares more?

Luckily today when I called out sick because I felt I would sound ridiculous if I said I can not stop crying so I can't come to work today somebody stepped up. Thank you for covering me. I couldn't pretend today. I couldn't put on a smile and make everyone else's lives better while inside I am confused and falling apart today

Stress is something I always have but rarely acknowledge. I push things down and keep going when it's okay to cry and deal with shit. I am human. I will not let stress hinder an entire day again. I will learn from this and deal with things. I am not Mary Poppins bag I cannot hold everything in me. I am a glass and when filled to the brink I overflow.

So I am going to take a breathe and a sip every here and there to keep my glass roomier.

Graduation.....eek!

15 days left until graduation hits! After that 10 more days left at Color Me Mine. THEN. then. then. I am moving in to my own apartment in the Santa Cruz area. So excited but also that means I have so much stuff to do in so little time. MOTIVATION KEEP ME GOING!!

Life Update:

TIRED! Oh so tired. These last two weeks children of the bay area have had spring break so my store is flooded with families everyday. Good for business that is for sure but I have had two new employees that have started and needed training during the craziness that I just could not do properly. They are now very good at the simplest of our store tasks such as washing dishes, changing out tables and general cleaning but on all other fronts still very unaware. It isn't their fault that both of them were scheduled to be trained on the two busiest weeks of Spring. The hard part is when I am not at work and I know my staff is feeling the pressure of not having the second pair of hands at the studio know how to do things. My phone has been ringing more times these two weeks than in the two and a half years I have worked at Color Me Mine. (Management struggles I guess.)

I know my staff feels broken at the end of the week because I feel broken down too. Luckily for us spring break is over so we can go back to the normal craziness only being on weekends.

43 more days until I start a new adventure.

Less than two months till I can leave and start a new adventure.

PROS & CONS of Valentines Day!

PRO

1. People are a lot happier/nicer.
2. Lots of red everywhere.
3. Another reason to decorate. 
4. Seeing little old men walking around with flowers.
5. Couples dressed up.
6. People actually thinking of their significant other.
7. Flowers and chocolates.
8. Kids excitement over giving valentines in school.
9. Valentines cards on the internet are hilarious and way better then store ones.
10. Working to make everyone's night special.
11. WE get to spend the day or night doing something fun.
12. Love in the air.

CON

1. Leading up to the day people are stressed about making it perfect.
2. Aggressively pink items everywhere. 
3. Everything says "I Love You" on it. 
4. Having last minute shoppers get mad at you for not having the present they want.
5. Couples overly dressed up. (Suits/heels to paint pottery or movies is a bit much)
6. Buying something just because you have to for valentines day.
7. Giant teddy bears.
8. Being an adult and nobody gives out little valentines anymore.
9. People not understanding why you bought funny valentines card online for yourself.
10. WORKING to make everyone's night special.
11. Guys are expected to plan and pay for everything. (Not true for everyone but I know some girls who do.)
12. Being with someone because you are scared you'll never find anyone else.... in the air.

These aren't all of them but rather the ones I thought up at the moment. I like and dislike V-day. I am more a fan when it is genuine or even punny and not so much when it is forced. I don't think valentines day needs to be filled with an expensive night out or even gifts not that those are terrible things and don't show love but people should live within their means and do something they will enjoy together. 

Just some thoughts this V-day.

 

Horns Movie Review (Spoilers!)

HORNS

First time watching

Jumped twice

Didn't cry

The best part about this movie is that they keep you guessing on who killed the girl. I always make a prediction right at the start of the movie when you get introduced to the first few characters that way I can see if the movie went the obvious root or if they twist it making you think it is one guy but really another. My prediction at the beginning of the movie was Daniel Radcliffe's characters brother was wrong. Throughout the movie you get more and more suspicious of everyone. 

Throughout the movie you cringe quite a few times when people are "confessing their sins" to the main character. Some of the confessions are hilarious but others it is quite awkward to hear. Especially the the confessions of his parents to him. Those ones are bad. 

Nudity alert! 

You definitely see penis in this movie and boobs. For anyone who chooses movies for that reason.

The horns. The actual horns are so bad ass looking. Obviously painful looking as well but oh my goodness through out the movie they grow bigger and bigger. It is so majestic looking even though they are meant to portray "the devil".

Seven Sins (in my opinion) 

Wrath- Main character throughout the movie

Sloth- His brother is slow to speak up and stand by him.

Greed- Waitress lying for financial gain

Pride- His parents disowning him

Lust & Envy- Best friend the whole movie

Gluttony- Girl eating all the donuts just to get fat because nobody likes her

There are obviously more this movie is riddled with sins and craziness but that is kind of the best part about it. 

Also there is an awesome tree house!